Our emotional battles, our emotional lies
In my opinion, we fight the biggest battles against ourselves when we feel deep inside that the direction is not right, but we continue on the path when we know that we should change our lives, but we don't do it, instead we excuse ourselves with excuses. At such times, it is very difficult to admit that we are lying, that we have put on blinders and that only the usual route is tolerable for us.
'Why should I change to make it even harder? Why jump headlong into the unknown when lukewarm water is just right for me? If I leave my marriage, if I leave my job there, the usual security, which I cannot live without, will disappear, because then I will be lost in the world... ' The Ego tries to control, and we entrust ourselves to it, and the inner voice whispers more and more quietly , to follow your heart, because you can only live a full life in which you can unfold in this way. We usually fight this internal battle with ourselves for many years, always making new excuses. Finally, even our body indicates that change and letting go would be salutary for us. The question is, do we pay attention to our inner voice, to that quiet but still reliable compass that shows us the right way with small signs, do we notice the messages of our body, or do we get stuck in the illusion we have built...
Some of my family members commented that in my books I didn't allow the main characters to live in love and surrender to their desires. Obviously, they were not motivated by maintaining the appearance of safety, since they thrived in the world on their own, but primarily focused on their mission, but alongside their tasks and struggles, there was always an emotional thread through which they were sometimes happy and sometimes they fought an internal battle. The big dilemma was almost always caused by how to reconcile the unfolding of love and the fulfillment of desires with life's tasks. In addition, the protagonists had an outlook on life that was difficult for the partners to accept, as it went beyond everyday reality.
If I want to be honest with myself, I will admit that there is some parallel between the protagonists and my own life, of course this is completely natural, since the stories were born from my subconscious, and my own experiences are hidden there. And I know that I also had very difficult decisions when I had to choose between my profession, my development and the support of my family life, but I think that in every case I tried to choose the path of my heart, if necessary by resignations, but I lived according to my inner compass, I live my everyday life.
Self-awareness questions: If you listen to your heart, are you in your place, do you live with those with whom you can develop? If you gave up on fulfillment, how did you excuse yourself? Financial security, children, the desire to conform to the outside world? How does your body indicate your problems you have that draw your attention to the fact that you are not on the right track? What should you change? Why don't you believe you can do it?