Development in the network of relationships


In the course of my work, I encountered many kinds of connections. Difficult, inhibited relationships were in the majority, while open, balance-seeking, developmental relationships appeared only in small numbers. Of course, this was understandable, since I worked in a profession where I helped others to move from a difficult life situation to a better one, achieve their goals, and live a better quality of life. I think that understanding, observing ourselves and our relationship network from the outside can help a lot in having a clearer picture, and our relationship can move from the valley to the mountaintop, where two people live in an equal relationship and support each other.

One of the conditions for development is that we want to develop, so that we are not satisfied with a vegetative relationship, but desire an environment where we can be ourselves, where we can show all our sides, where we can 'undress naked', without having to fear loss. In my opinion, this is possible in relationships that have a strong emotional base. Where the foundations were already weak, development is almost impossible. If we don't dare to share our pain because it could have serious consequences, then we are not living our lives with the right partner. If we always cede control to the other party in conflicts, we can slowly destroy ourselves alongside our partner. After a while, we may notice that the person we once were has been lost somewhere along the way, when we start living our lives according to the other party's rules, we move further and further away from the possibility of development, as we have entered a melting pot. In order for common development to be part of our lives and appear in our human relationships, we must first go through an internal development ourselves, where we constantly change, move inward, and finally find our consciously creative self.

In my books, the protagonists have healthy self-confidence and inner strength, they know what their task is in relation to the other person, and they have the tools necessary to perform these tasks. They do not want to be connected at all costs, they only allow pure love into their lives. The other important point is that they are aware of their creative ability, the 'rule' that they create with all their thoughts and actions, and that they harvest the fruits of their creation themselves. The difficulties that appear in their human relationships do not deter them, they will overcome difficult situations by preserving themselves and their own 'freedom'. They never fight to be loved, but they allow selfless love into their lives. I think that it would be worthwhile for us to live life in a similar way, freely but still connected, showing ourselves bravely, preserving our own individuality, using our creativity wisely, and moving intuitively on the path where we can connect with those like us, with love to full people.

Felicity Sheer