An emotional commitment to upholding our own principles


Every relationship has an arc that shows where two people are in the journey together, in the getting-to-know-you phase, in the more serious mapping of the other party, in the collision of different principles and their acceptance, in the planning of the joint future, or in the emotional commitment. For some, a few months are enough to get from the initial steps to commitment, while others do not let their partner into their lives completely even after years. There can be several reasons for this, a negative example from the family / e.g. parents' divorce /, lack of trust, fear of losing freedom, completely different values, belief systems, and rejection of tasks involving commitment...

When two people find each other, two different worlds meet, and it is very rare that these worlds blend together perfectly. The question is whether the partners can maintain their own principles and belief systems in the relationship, in addition to keeping the common cross-sections. When one party has to give up themselves in order for the relationship to work, it foreshadows the death of the relationship. However, if the partners tolerate each other's principles and beliefs, it can help them through many difficulties during their journey together. The initial flame, the pink haze, disappears after a while, and the nugget remains reality. It is worth striving to be able to discover the beautiful and the valuable qualities in the other in this reality as well, while preserving our own world.

Perhaps it is most difficult to maintain harmony and balance in those relationships where one of partners is constantly doing internal work, their belief system is changing, while the other is stuck in 'rational reality', because of this the partners can become completely distant after while they notice that that two different worlds live in them, and these worlds almost never meet. Awareness, the intuitive path, becomes important for one, where she make decisions for which there is no rational explanation, while the other tries to navigate along rational arguments and does not understand how to act based on intuition, how to trust in the inner voice. In a lucky case, the member of the couple who is further ahead on the spiritual path will help her partner, but for this it is necessary that the partner is open to another reality.

Relationships based on deep, pure love stand the test of time more easily, go through difficulties more smoothly, and in such relationships the partners can be open to the inner world of the other as well as to the belief system they represent in the world.

Self-awareness questions: How do you feel you have shown yourself in your relationship? How well do you represent your principles? How do you tolerate your partner's outlook on life? Was emotional commitment a difficult or an easy step for you? How different is your inner world from your partner's world? Can you find the common cross section? Do you want to develop together, look in the same direction?

Felicity Sheer